Being the Leaf
by DarkPriestessOfHyrule
Summary: She only wanted to return just one more time to give herself peace but it only brought back more memories. It has been so long that she wonders how she could be a leaf when she has turned her heart to stone. [Past Linzin]


**A/N: Did I actually do that?! My first ever Legend of Korra fic?! Magical. Although I couldn't stand a bunch of the characters in it I am all about Lin Beifong and getting bored I went to read some Beifong fan fiction and there was hardly any there! (except one rather good one that keeps getting updates woo-hoo!) I got this idea from those few fics I saw that in some way or another had Lin using the gates and had originally thought of putting it into another LoK one-shot I was doing but I decided against it and put it as its own ficclet instead. I got other Lin one shots planned I hope you will like this one and review kindly…or at all. Another thing I mentioned the age of Lin at the beginning that was when they were together, she is in her 40s right? Can't remember ^.^;. Please forgive any grammar errors. I DO NOT OWN LEGEND OF KORRA AND MAKE NO MONEY FROM ANYTHING.**

This was only a one time thing- only once. After the spirits awful week she had she needed to do this. Lin Beifong had missed a few things about Air Temple Island. She missed the long walks and beautiful view of the sunrise and sunset, the beauty of all the untainted nature surrounding the island, it was just enchanting. She could walk through the temple now with no problem, she didn't really hate Pema much anymore unless the woman was giving her problems, there were times the woman didn't exactly think things through before they left her mouth. She could walk the entire west side of the island, north and south as well. It was the east that she avoided because of the memories. Those naps in the flower fields with Tenzin, climbing trees, sparring. Her cheeks heated a bit remember what they would do in that cove by the water-silly stuff that didn't hurt anymore but still left an empty feeling in her chest. She had tried so hard for Tenzin, the monk lifestyle was NOT for her but she had wanted to make the otherwise boring airbender live life to the fullest and make him happy, and if that meant being stuck on this island than so be it. She remembered the day he first took her to the spinning gates- what even now she missed the most about this place. When she first saw all those close together gates spinning faster than the eye could follow and him saying that someone could actually weave _through_ it she looked at him like he had grown ten heads. He first showed her by letting a single leaf weave its way to the other side then did it himself making her mumble something about him needing to eat more if he could fit through there. That had made him laugh which made her laugh right along with him. Those first few attempts resulted in being utterly humiliated; as an earthbender she was taught all her life to be firm like a rock, grounded to the earth and now after thirty two years of being a rock she was suppose to turn into a leaf? It took her weeks to be able to even get inside of the gates because they kept throwing her back, then after she got in she got to get beaten from all sides until she was spit out of it again. She was black and blue for awhile and that time she got hit in the face (much to Tenizin's horror that it broke her nose) she stayed indoors not wanting people to think he had raised a hand to her in any way and got pampered by a guilty Tenzin who felt awful that it hurt her. The moment her nose was healed she dragged him back out to the gates not planning on stopping until she got it perfectly. When she finally after several eathbending tantrums, yelling, and stubborn refusal to give up finally got it-she finally became a rock and a leaf that day making him run up to her and envelope her in a spinning hug and plant a series of excited kisses all over her face.

Lin felt her chest tighten with sadness remembering that moment she left this island for good years ago, that life was gone now no use becoming a sissy tearbender over long ago spilt milk. She smirked at the time Tenzin said he wished he hadn't taught her how to use them because every day since whenever she had a stressful day at work (which was a lot of them) she would drag him out to the gates and get him to use his airbending to spin them so she could weave through them until her stress went away. She was a leaf when she went through them and when one was a leaf and not hard earth it was hard to feel stressed very long. She always left them after about half an hour truly at peace while dragging him back into the temple by his collar with a content smile. There was no airbender to drag around now, no content smile, just stress, coffee, and collapsing into her bed still dressed after a hard day at the office. There was nothing to weave through either, the training grounds for the police were made for metal and earthbenders not airbenders. She decided that she would just do it one more time then she could get on with her life and never go back.

The Chief had used earthbending to stealthily cross the water to the island and proceeded to sneak to the gates using the long way to get to them rather than risk any of the acolytes or worse Tenzin seeing her. There they were. Her old friends all alone, just her and the gates. Her forward walk towards them came to a shattering halt when she realized she had no airbender to spin them for her. _All that work for nothing._ She thought hanging her head and resting an armored hand on the smooth but thick gates. The gates had no metal so she couldn't use bending to spin them either. _Curses._

"What 'cha do'in here miss?" A voice piped up making her yelp in shock and turn to see a little boy with missing front teeth in airbender garbs. The funny looking kid she remembered was named Meelo. "So? What cha' doing?"

"None of your business." she grumbled under her breath. Great now the kid was gona run and tell Guru Goodie Goodie on her.

"Did you come to play with the gates?!" He asked excitedly. "I can spin em for you!" Before she could object he sent a gust of air at them making them spin. "So? Get in!" He beamed. "Can you get in miss?"

"It's..been awhile." She said self-conscious for some reason of what a bald five year old would think of her.

"Just gotta be the leaf!" He said happily. By the spirits! She hated when Tenzin would say that! After getting her butt thoroughly kicked by inanimate objects he would say 'be the leaf' 'be the leaf!' in an annoying preachy voice making her want to punch him each time. When this runt said it however it made her want to laugh. "Go on! Be a leaf!"

_Be a leaf again Lin.. but I'm a rock now._ She had barely approached it before her foot caught on it and knocked her flat on her back. She looked up to see the boy looking down at her. "It's been awhile." she said gruffly.

"It's okay. I hated being the leaf at first. I always got hit and it hurt but I'm a leaf now and being a leaf is fun. You can do it!" His optimism was grossly contagious and she headed back up the platform pulling back almost getting hit again this time in the arm. "Wooosh! Wooosh! Wooooosh!" She turned wondering if he was mocking her only to see him moving all around from side to side gliding and stepping this way and that waving his hands in the air. _Odd fellow._ She made it to the top of the stairs for a third time. "Woosh! Woosh!" He said before she turned around again to tell him to hush she saw his movements once more and realized he was showing her how to enter the gates. _I could get use to having this kid around._ After taking a deep breath she threw caution to the wind-no horrid pun intended- and followed his movements entering the gates with ease.

Once she was in the violently spinning gates something took over and suddenly she was with Tenzin again being a leaf as he spun the gates faster and faster for her making it all better. She made it to the other side in time to see the little bender fly right over her head and land right in front of her. "That was so cool!" He practically shouted making her hiss at him to lower his voice fearing discovery. "You were a leaf! Want to go again?" Her smirk affirmed and he spun them again as she returned to the bright colors and the howl of winds that made her feel like she was on air. Flying through the sky with her metal cables made her fly, the gates however made her feel like she was actually soaring . Time was never a factor when the gates were involved and once again she reached the other side to see the boy practically hopping up and down waiting for her. "Do you wana race me? Let's race! C'mon! Come get me!" He said excitedly jumping right in. Could people actually race through that thing? She was rather curious to find out so she quickly followed him. She liked being in the air way too much to be a normal earthbender._ Thanks a lot Tenzin._ Her attention was caught when she saw a flash of red and yellow before chasing after it. He had the home field advantage and was an airbender so she didn't feel as bad about being beaten by a five year old, even if that five year old beat her in a rematch.

"You almost beat me that time! You should have been the avatar." well that wasn't something she expected to hear from the child. "You could have been all the bendings and you could be earth AND air so we could play air scooter." Meelo spun around suddenly riding on a sphere of air going a circle around her. "I wish people could race, It's fun but dad says that it isn't a toy but it should be a toy because it is fun. " he said making the sphere vanish and gracefully landing back on the ground "We have fun other airbender games those are great but gates are fun, plus it's funny because once Uncle Bumi tried and he was thrown out and landed in a bush."

Now THAT made Lin actually laugh getting a perfect mental image of him flying over their heads only to land in the shrubs.

"I don't care what the others say you're pretty fun for a grouch. Wana come back?"

"I don't think so-"

"If you're worried about dad finding out I won't tell. You can come back any time you want and I will spin the gates for you."

Another airbender on her side would be great, even if said airbender was only inches taller than knee length. She knew she couldn't make a habit of this again because there could be a rather unfortunate time she _was_ caught. Still, the hardened Chief of Police liked it here even if she felt so many mixed emotions about being back. She felt sad and heartbroken despite the years that passed since the break up-Tenzin had been her first and only love and now she was alone and no one understood her or could see past her rough exterior. Anger and jealousy of Pema stealing him from her- she might not have been happy about being forced to sit for hours in lotus position with her eyes closed, but she had felt used even if she knew she would NOT in any universe be able to stand one kid let alone repopulating an entire race . Despite knowing it was for the best she could never help how her heart raced and her cheeks burned when she saw them so happy together but it had cooled down to indifference and going out of her way to avoid them. She didn't really hate them, they at times merely made her feel alone . Lastly was the feeling of relief finally being back even if it was in secret and nostalgia of feeling peace again along with the smell of those flowers in the air (and punching Bumi for laughing at her and calling her a "flower skipping nymph" when Tenzin had put flowers in her hair and one behind her ear and she forgot they were there before coming back into the temple)

"I can't come back…" she paused seeing his pouted lip tremble. "...very often."

"Which means you're coming back?" he asked hopefully.

By Kyoshi how could anyone say no to that weird looking cute little face? "...yes." she was shocked to feel him charge up to her tackling her legs in a hug. It might be very cute but happy mood or not she had a reputation to keep. She used a wire cable to catch his tunic and pull him out of hugging distance. "I don't do hugs kid."

"You're just pretending you don't like em but you do."

"Well so...see you later." she said turning around and heading back towards the water making her escape before she was seen.

They never noticed a pair of rueful eyes watching them through the exchange. Tenzin had decided to leave for his daily walk around the island which he used to stay in shape and reflect early because of the call for rain. He was on a further path when he first noticed the gates spinning. Who on earth was using them? Ikki and Jinora were both with Pema and he was sure Meelo was playing with the sky bison last time he saw. _Apparently not. _ He thought shaking his head and letting out a long suffering sigh seeing Meelo shoot out the other side laughing. That boy adored those gates and he found himself constantly having to tell him they weren't play things and they were for training. His eyes widened when he saw another person come out not long after Meelo, arms out with one graceful glide and spin she joined the excited boy. _Lin…why was she here?_ He forgot how beautiful and free she looked when she did that. She would go in a seething boiling ball of nerves and come out practically dancing. He felt a stab of guilt for more than one reason, the first being that he was enchanted by the metal bender and her grace and beauty and the second was that he felt enchanted by Pema's serene patience and nurturing nature. He seemed to be betraying them both in some way or another. Both had things that had drawn him to them. Lin was fire and passion, Pema was cool and quiet; they were polar opposites yet both were the same in a way he couldn't even explain to himself let alone either of them.

As an airbender he hated discord and had desperately wished they would accept each other, a little foolish since clearly he was the reason they were at odds. It wasn't for the first time he had wished that he inherited his father's strange ability to make people who hated each other (even for thousands of years) put aside their differences. Lin and Pema no longer needed to be held back by several people whenever they were in a room together so that was better , the next series of encounters between the two after that would cause temperature in the room to cool and the conversation between the two women would be in short one word answers. Now Lin merely avoided them. He felt simply awful for being the cause of two dear women hating each other. Lin hated Pema for taking him away and Pema felt extreme distaste for the metal bender thinking she was a hothead that was all temper and gruffness when Tenzin knew otherwise but then again he rather liked living so after the first week he had sworn not to get between them. He knew Lin had been utterly miserable when it came to all this quiet and passiveness which being an earthbender and daughter of Toph Beifong made perfect sense-after all earth was the natural opposite of air yet she could somehow be a leaf if she wanted to while also demolishing a small army under an avalanche of rock. She just wasn't made for settling down and staying in one place. Pema was and she made him very happy.

He kept out of sight as he watched his son ride an air scooter in a circle around her before jumping off. Somehow he seemed to have fathered several children who were wise beyond their years. Jinora was a knowledgeable ungrudging soul in a young body, and Meelo although very silly and immature…and an endless ball of energy had a strange way of seeing past a person's exterior. He was snapped out of his thoughts by hearing a laugh, he thought he was imagining things until he looked up and saw Lin actually laughing! When was the last time she did that? She was constantly alone devoted completely to her job and refused to go within a league of him if she could help it. He wished that she would find the happiness that he had in Pema, someone who would adore her and her fiery and rebellious nature and that she could feel the happiness of holding her own child. He didn't think he had ever felt a greater joy then when his baby girl was placed in his arms. He wished she could feel such joy and knew that he was not the one who could give it to her.

He knew the gates were special to her and decided not to let her or anyone else know he knew about her visit, it was the least he could do for her and besides even if people would think he was a liar for ever saying anything like it about the strict iron strong Chief, Tenzin thought she made a rather nice leaf.

Fin.

**A/N: Hope you all Liked it. Somehow during the typing process it seemed to turn out more angsty than I had intended with the whole lost love thing but the knowledge that there is another Lin fan fic out there for obsessive fans like me to read makes me all fuzzy inside. (oh as far as this fic goes lets pretend Korra hadn't come to Republic City yet) Sorry after years Lin is still pining, she has gotten over almost all of it but I think memories are powerful things. *waits nervously for responses***


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